NAUGHTY BABY

5

Do you ever have naughty thoughts? Yeah? Me too.

I always find myself devising ways to steal chapattis after they have been cooked and carefully packed in the hotpot. It’s always a challenge especially when your mom busts you with hot chapatti in your mouth and you star dancing around like my chanting rainmaking ancestors. When I was young, that dance was always followed by a really nasty beating with these red slippers my mom owned. 

My beatings as a child usually varied with the crime I had committed and sometimes from the way my mom talked, I swear you’d have thought I was on some FBI watch list. So, as I’m sitting here, something interesting came to me and I decided to write it down. I’ve always been a clumsy girl. I have marks on my body from tripping on things and falling, to stepping on broken glass I had broken and tried to cover up from my mom to some really weird ones I have no idea of their genesis. 

As a kid, my mom always tells me that I was afraid of this particular old woman and each time I saw her I would cry like a baby. Wait, I was a baby. Anyway, moving on to a totally unrelated story, one day around the time I was being potty trained by mom, I don’t know what happened but I was throwing a tantrum. I’ve always had a fair for the dramatic but insist that I am the least dramatic person in the whole wide world! Where was I? Crying, yes I was crying and all because of something that happened and mom doesn’t remember and then suddenly I had to take a shit. 

I don’t know if the tears made me hallucinate or maybe I was just high on something but instead of sitting on my potty (potty is that little plastic thing kids take shits in btw) I sat on my mother’s stove. I can’t remember at all how it felt or even it happening but I imagine my poor ass saw a few hot days- literally! So, as I grew up and began checking myself out in the onset of adolescence, I noticed I had a big black spot on my ass and after asking my mom randomly one day she told me that story. 

As my ass outgrew it Kikuyu expectations, I grew bigger and before adolescence, came my tomboy stage- I think! I wouldn’t say my childhood was Barbie and rainbows but I have some epic memories of people I hope outgrew their child faces. I’m not saying they were ugly, I’m just saying one of us had really thin teeth that were almost all black and when she smiled, she looked like something out of a bad teeth movie. You know like the tooth fairy was abducted by thin charcoal people who had taken over the tooth castle and decided everything would look thin, black and creepy. Anyway, that’s not where the story lies, this one time I had been playing with these group of boys and the only one I remember was called Kevin, I think so, my mom didn’t quite like them or something.

Before she left that day, I remember she was wearing something red, she told me not to try and go play with Kev and Co. at stage, which I guess was our new fascination. Like the little good girl I was, I agreed not to dare go play anywhere near the stage. As soon as mom was out of the door, I was also out of the door. And we both know that there is no way I was going to not go to stage. I met up with Kev and Co. and we went to stage and ‘hang out’ then timed the late afternoon when we knew our parents would be getting back home and set off to go home. 

So, my mom gets home and she is like “Ulienda stage leo”? I looked up at her, face all pokered up and said, “Hapana, tulicheza tu hapa nje ya plot.” Looking back now, lying was probably not a good idea because as it turns out, my mommy was at stage the whole time watching me play my way to an as whooping I would never forget. What happened? Well first, she told me to remove all my clothes and go away from her house. Then, after my clothes were off and I was turning to leave, she asked me where I was going? In my little head I was probably like, woman you just told me to leave! Then she gave me a beating that should earn her an Oscar by the way. Imagine yourself ass naked and a red Bata PatiPati dropping on your body like it’s hot. It was literally one of those moments you cry so hard to a point where the tears just stop flowing and the sounds of agony can’t even come out anymore. 

Your body is low-key adapting to the pain, your tear and scream ducts have gone on an unofficial strike and you just stand there looking at your mother looking at you looking at her whooping you like the Oscar went to some other mom whose kid did not commit a felony a great as yours!

I loved to take a dramatic shit as a kid, the stove hurt my butt, I loved to not obey my mom as a kid, she hurt my naked everything!

In short, I think love is pain! 
Happy Valentines though!

THE BEST FRIEND TAG

4

My best friend and I have been friends since we had boobs and boy problems. I think it’s safe to say that we have gone through the worst part of puberty together. We are currently in the quarter life crisis phase where we are stressed out constantly by the fact that we are 20+ and not millionaires or atleast dating Justin Beiber. 

What is our back story? We met, walked home together one day and decided that we would be besties till our boobs were tired and drooly. Okay, now it’s questions time:

1.When and How did we first meet?

Melo: We met in church. 

Me: It’s true, God actually likes us. 

2.If you could go to any place in the world, where would it be?

Melo: Paris. To see the Eiffel Tower

Me: Amsterdam. Just for the sole purpose of skydiving. I seem to have a death wish. 

3. Favorite Color? 

Melo: Grey. I’m dark like that.

Me: Purple. I’m the light one. 

4. Favorite Food?

Melo: Pilau.

Me: Spaghetti and Meat Balls. Pilau is overrated 

Melo: Shut up. 

5. Name of your Bff’s crush.

Melo: Micheal Clifford. It’s more like an obsession, it’s almost mental. 

Me: Ras. This guy was the greatest headache of our life. Haha. He was cute though… 

6. Your biggest fear?

Melo: To die not having fulfilled my life’s purpose.

Me: I’m only scared of heights, darkness, thinness, Water, Cockroaches, Bad lipstick and bad spaghetti. Yeah. 

7. Three things you cannot live without.

Melo: My earphones, my music and my junk food.

Me: Neopolitan Icecream, Pizza and 5 Seconds of Summer. 

8. What 3 movies does your BFF love the most?

Melo: We both love Investigative, drama and Comedy. 

Me: Yeah. 

9. 2 things your BFF doesn’t know about you.

Melo: Practically nothing. She knows me too much, like she’s my shadown

Me: Yeah, sometimes I can tell her before she farts. 

Melo: Haha. Why are we friends again?

Me: Because I’m awesome. 

10. Your BFF’s ideal spouse/ partner. 

Melo: A guy who will give her 100%

Me: Hmm, a guy who has a great sense of sarcasm, drives and has a great smile. It’s the only way we can be friends. 

11. How long does it take your BFF to get dressed?

Melo: An hour.

Me: She has to do her hair, her face, her eyes, her nails… Well the whole day? We’re always late to everything. It’s never my fault. 

Melo: It’s always your fault. Dumb dumb.

12. If you went out together, what would you most likely eat?

Melo: Icecream and Pizza. Plus Chicken and fries.

Me: We like to keep it healthy. 

13. Favorite TV show?

Melo: Keeping Up with the Kardashians. 

Me: Yeah, we like to be informed about the world and all it’s glorious rachetness. Plus, we like the Mother of Asses- Kimmie. 

14. Favorite inside joke?

Melo: Kuweka Barrier.

Me: Hahaha…  Kasema!

15. Favorite memory?

Melo: Everytime all 4 of us are together. 

Me: By all 4 she means our two guy besties- Mark and Lex. Very cute boys if anyone wants a hookup. 

Melo: We should charge for the hookups.

Me: Yeah, do people put up single guys on OLX?

Melo: I’m officially friends with a crazy person. 

16. What annoys you most about your BFF?

Melo: Nothing. She’s awesome 

Me: I’m awesome. 

17. Last book your BFF read?

Melo: The Power of the Pussy.

Me: It’s pretty powerful. 

18. Does your BFF have any nicknames?

Melo: Mbuguade.

Me: Pinchez.

19. What’s your BFF really bad at?

Melo: Lying… Atleast to me

Me: She’s bad at being mean. She’s overly nice which is annoying. 

20. What would your BFF do if they won the lottery?

Melo: Charity. She has such a big heart .

Me: Definitely start something great business wise. She has this mind for business that will make us RICH AF! 

21. Is your BFF dating?

Melo: Yes.

Me: No.

22. Do you like your BFF’s boyfriend?

Melo: Not really. Well, No!

Me: I want to burn her ex’s car with him in it. 
Okay. Bye 😊


IN MY CURVY EYES

10

It’s 4:33am and I’m up staring at the ceiling and silently thanking God that no one around me is up. It’s so quiet it’s almost magical. No people are talking, no birds are chirping, no lights are shining, thieves are probably retiring to bed after a hard night’s work and soon the darkness will too. That’s the sad part, that moments like these will not last forever, that I’ll probably have to wake up tommorow and be nice to people. Maybe I should just avoid waking up tommorow?
I love the world like this. Quiet. The serenity of it all brings along a certain kind of peace that I’m sure will be destroyed by the first break of light. Tommorow I will wake up and have to face another day of noise. Tommorow I will wake up and be forced to smile, nod and say ‘I’m great! Thanks!’ Tommorow I will wake up and be forced to open the door and let them in. I honestly don’t want to. I’m praying to the heavens that they let me have this piece of magic for just a while longer. 

I don’t want to close my eyes and open them to the harsh realities of the world. Not today atleast. I want the world to remain asleep because in it’s sleepy state, I can keep my PMS under control. People will wake up today and want to talk to me or look at me or smile at me and I will hate it. I’ll hate their eyes and their teeth, probably their clothes and please don’t let me look at their face. 

I’ll hate how nice they want to be and I’ll hate that I hate how nice they are because I’ll hate how nice I’ll have to pretend I am. Then, I’ll have to pretend that I’m happy with seeing their face when half that time all I want to do is punch them and smile. Is that legal? 

When I started this post, I wanted to describe the beauty of 4a.m but then I remembered that after 4 am, all that beauty will fade away. Just like the good boys and all the world will be left with are a couple of dumb boys and alot of noise! I hate noise except when I’m making it. 

The thing about noise is that it’s loud and it’s eerie and it kills your zone. It’s like having a perfectly good meditation session ruined by a mosquito that won’t stop buzzing. Mosquitos buzz right? I would google it but it’s already 4:53 am and I don’t want to. I hate noise, except when I’m making it. 

I’m particularly mad at nothing at the moment. I don’t like my phone, I don’t like my bed, I don’t like my face so trust me I’ll hate your face, I don’t like my boyfriend I’m planning to be mad at him for nothing all week- poor lad, I don’t like my towel either- I just noticed that it’s so green and so is my purse and my dustbin and my shirt and my stand wait, am I trying to tell myself something? I thought purple was my favorite color! I hate you green!

I hate that my neigbour just came in from a night out. Who knew doors could be that loud? Now I hate that he’s using the toilet loudly, I mean would it kill you to flush the flush thing when it’s after 7 am and everybody is flushing the flush thing? My neighbours are really nice though. Thank God they aren’t green. I once saw green neighbours- literally green.

 I hate that I can’t go to the supermarket and buy myself a big calorie filled icecream with Chilli Lemon crisps as toppings. I hate that we have to say crisps instead of crips. Life would be so much easier if crisps were actually crips right?

I hate that I just said that and now some dumb dumb will steal my crisps topping idea. I hate that instead of deleting that part, all I want to do is complain. 

5:02 am. The magic is already dead. All my insecurities are beginning to surface like how 30 seconds ago I just spelt the word surface as sufface and how I probably have no data and how no one seems to have left their hotspots on tonight. Dumb babies. 

Another thing bothering me is that tommorow I might go to the supermarket and find all the Neopolitan gone. I don’t know why but in my head, I already pictured an attack where the thieves solely steal all the Neopolitan Iceream and drive away in an icecream van with Tyga.I promise this has nothing to do with the song Icecream man.

Have I ever told you that I sometimes have OCD? Is OCD even a sometimes thing? Well let’s just say that I am a mad cleaner. This means that each and every time I’m angry the only thing that makes me feel better is cleaning and growing mad at people for no reason at all. I’m probably mad at you right now. Yeah you, reading this…. 

I clean everything! Once, I was so angry I accidentally cleaned my cat and cats do not like water. Which reminds me that my cat just gave birth and it’s already 5:12 am and I’m going to clean the house then sleep before anyone is awake and they make me kill them 🙂

I hope you have a terrible day and remember people say sharing is caring but in real sense, they just want your money or food. All I want you to do is educate someone because I promise that this post has a really important message about something that I’m yet to figure out.

Okay, Bye 🙂


THE SCRIPT

4

 It all starts with the little things. The noise and the quiet, the warmth and the cold, the people and the places. He never quite understood what it meant or why it always seemed to happen just after his brightest smile. It didn’t hurt, there was no feeling it was more like a phase. 

A phase characterized by the want and the need to be alone with his demons. It was a phase characterized by so much despair that fighting those demons was never really an option. He let them be. He let them eat at his body, mind and soul but not in a bad way, in a way that was good, a kind of good he couldn’t explain, a kind of good he felt he needed. 

They never quite understood him. To them, he was just another lad with another bad day. He was just another lad that seemed to enjoy and understand the dark and broken things  all too well. 

For courtesy’s sake they would occassionally ask, ‘Are you Okay?’ And he would casually reply with a smile because he was not not okay; he was perfect – no, he was perfectly imperfect. He was in his element, he was himself. They never quite understood that and they never would but he didn’t mind and he never would.

See, they didn’t see the world the way he saw it. To them, the world was either black or white but he liked to think there were patches of grey and a rainbow color or two in there. 

They wanted everything defined, labelled and put in little tiny boxes but he thrilled in the mystery of the world. He never sought to find the answer rather he sought to feel, understand and get lost in the complexity of it all. 

When it came to people, he always seemed to be attracted to their dark and broken parts. He always seemed to understand them better than anyone else. It wasn’t because he did anything or said anything. No. It was just in his being. He seemed to make it better by being around almost as if he was absorbing all that dark matter and blending it with his own. And he loved it. 

But on days like these, the darkness seemed to get a little darker, a little bit more wild. The beauty about his pain and his struggle though lied in the hope of knowing tommorow would be better. Tommorow would bring more hope and a new sunshine. Today was bad but maybe just maybe if he closed his eyes hard enough and wished upon a wishing star, then tommorow would be better a day! 

His heart was kind and his soul was different. 

His, was a script he had come to memorize all too well. 

MATHREE AND ME 

1

So, today I was in town and after I finished doing my business I got on the bus to head home. So the woman sited next to me was chatting on her phone and I happened to accidentally look at who she was talking to and the name on the screen made my heart stop! Literally. Well not literally because that would mean I died huh… Though I kind of did die a little I mean how many times can life mock me with this! And oh, if you haven’t realized by now, I’m not telling you what the name on the screen was, that would be total invasion of that sleepy woman’s privacy. 

Anyway, this piece that I am writing sited on my mom’s toilet seat because I just watched half an hour of dead of summer and promised myself never to camp ever again in my life was inspired by the two names on that sleepy woman’s phone.

Okay, the title for the post is Mathree and  Me so what I decided to do was write the types of people boarding a mathree has turned me into. Okay, let’s embarrass me some more.

Nosy Nancy

I don’t usually mean for this to happen. I mean what am I supposed to do when the matatu has been telling us to say Demakufu for twenty minutes  and traffic is slow? This accidentally happens almost all the time when I’m in a mathree (matatu) and someone is busy staring at their phone. I once read a woman’s conversation with a guy who I believe was hitting on her and it made me cry- literally. I shed a tear because of how bad he was at his game and why was she still replying?

Man: Hello ma dear..

Woman: Hi Martin* (Totally made up)

Nosy Nancy: Who says ‘ma’ instead of My anymore??? 

I would tell you the rest of the conversation but it brings up too many painful memories! In a nutshell though from Safari Park to Ruiru Bypass, they talked about how bad the traffic was and how he wishes he was a sweater so that she couldn’t feel cold and how he wishes he was an umbrella…. I can’t even!

Sleepy Susan

Just like every other Kenyan or human that commutes, there is just something about sleeping in the car that is heavenly! I mean one time I slept so hard that the car did two rounds with me in it. Yes people I just said ‘did’ and ‘two rounds’ in the same sentence. Moving on!

Another time I dreamt that I was eating this really great meal that I can’t remember but when I woke up I was drooling (Trust me, I know) and I screamt a little when I saw the jibaba sited next to me. You don’t even want to know the first thought to pop up in my head before it dawned on me that I was in a bus.

Daring Diana

I kind of had to let daring Diana go because I realized she was causing me more harm than good. For instance, I always used to continue texting whenever the car was at Githurai and this is the place where you get and everybody becomes suspicious of everybody. Phones are stacked in the most unnatural places.

But there I was in daring Diana mode happily laughing because Ifella wouldn’t stop talking in French and this pissed off Cheruiyot which pissed off Loopsy which cause Oure and Barongo to also look for their google translate which cause Nelson to write 15 continuous texts which caused Rahma to laugh which in turn caused Rahab to kirimorize  the Fella which caused me to not see the guy take my phone and ran away.

The guy didn’t even care that I had just invested Kshs 400 in a new phone case and that I had just come from a TB interview so I really needed my phone!

*The names of the characters in this section are purely works of fiction. They are fictional journalism students who have a fictional whats-app group so fictionally believe that this part has any  relevance. 

Tropical Truphena

First of all, I tried to think of other names that began with T like Teresa or Terry or Tracy but I couldn’t so I went with Truphena. So, what does tropical Truphena do? Simple. I use an approximate of Kshs 100 to buy Tropical Mint Sweets which I eat as I cruise down the Muthaiga to Town traffic. 

I mean I used to but at the rate at which girls are being drugged by something as simple as a flyer, I don’t think tropical Truphena will be tropicalizing anytime soon. Sob* 

Wavy Winfred

Winfred is a girl’s name right?

Wavy Winfred gets excited at the prospect that she will see other human beings along the way and get a chance to wave at them regardless if whether they wave back. Seeing as to how Wavy Winfred has been here since high school, I’m pretty sure that they always wave and smile back. Sometimes they even blow kisses!

Wavy Winfred is such a doll!

Rich Rebecca

Rich Rebecca comes along when I tell my dad I want to go to town for something that sounds important and he gives me a lot of money. I mean don’t get me wrong, I am grateful because immediately I start to think of all the food and other useless things I can buy but then when you board a mathree at Githu to town, it’s 30 shillings. So, when you give the conductor Kshs 1,000 he has no option but to kick your ass out of the bus! 

Rich Rebecca also pays for Purity’s to and from fare. I hate Rich Rebecca because she quickly turns into Broke Brooke.

Broke Brooke 

Once a friend and I were coming from Juja to see our lovely Kasema. Yes, Kasema is actually a person! After we bid Kasema goodbye and went our way, we realized that we didn’t have enough money to get us home. Now, my friend, Ruth had a 10pm curfew because she had ‘class’ and I had a 4pm curfew because I was 16 and hormonal and I always got home a little close to many hours after my curfew.

Anyway, Broke Brooke and Ruth realized that they had 20 shillings combined for a journey that was supposed to cost them almost three times as much! Luckily Ruth had a good tongue and I had a pretty smile that got us to Kenyatta University (K.U.)

It was around 8pm when we got to K.U and from there to Kahawa Wendani was maybe half an hour’s walk. Then from the stage at Kahawa Wendani to my place was maybe 20 minutes walk. All in all, all I can say is it wasn’t a good night for Broke Brooke or Ruth.

Okay, I’m done. 

Remember, if you don’t share this post with your friends, you are a Mean Mildreda! 

I apologize for any typos, this was so random it hurts and I really won’t edit it coz that would kill the fun of it. 

27 FACTS… 

5

Hey.

Are bloggers supposed to hey their audiences or is that a thing only vloggers do? I’m not sure if when reading this, you’ll see hey and hey back your screen? Okay, I’m beginning to make this a random piece.

Today, on the 27th of October,  I’ve decided to write 27 facts… about myself. I’m not sure I’ll get to 27 but it’s definitely worth the try yeah?

Here goes nothing…

#1- I’m a Girl

This is probably the most obvious thing about me, I mean I have the headlights and my! do they shine bright and I have the number plate and my! is it a great one!

If you understood that pun, tafadhali ufisi wacha!

#2- I’m a writer 

Well you are reading my blog which means I’m a blogger which means I write because you need to write to have a blog right?

#3- I’m an Introvert 

For those of you who may not know, an introvert is basically a person who— wait did I just forget how to describe my own personality?! I need to google this.

Okay, googled. An introvert is a person who focuses more on internal feelings than on external stimulation! Yes, basically that’s me I’m a feelings kind of girl. I seriously feel too much sometimes!

#4- I’m a foodie

Basically a foodie is a fancy way of me saying, I love to eat too much. I mean everytime I’m idle, busy, sleepy, angry, writing, happy… Well basically always,  I eat. And when I eat, I eat ALOT!

Wait… I’m hungry!

#5- I’m a little weird

I mean who isn’t? I trully believe we all have a weird part to us and those who chose to embrace it probably live the best lives!

Normal is boring. Normal is overrated. Normalcy is not even a thing! I don’t know how to spell normalcy. Is normalcy a word?

#6- I love all things unhealthy!

If I was told to chose a life of fitness and health versus a life of pizza, Neopolitan icecream and Daima Vanilla Flavored yoghurt then I would probably die of obesity!

Seriously, I have a problem, I need help!

#7- I’m lowkey a really great actress 

Have you met those people that were meant to be in the big screens but got born in the wrong continent, wait, no, the wrong country? Yes, yes I’m those people. I’m seriously a great actress it’s not even funny how good I am! In my spare time, I write plays and movies but then I somehow lose them, who is stealing my talent?!

#8- I don’t know why I’m doing this

I feel like I should stop writing this like right now but then I’m watching the voice and somehow Blake Shelton’s face inspires me to write more. Oh dear Mr.Blake, what a nice face you have! … Wait, What?!

#9- I’m a spender

A spender is lowkey a person who hates saving but denies that they have a spending problem.

I’m actually really great at saving, I just haven’t started yet.

#10- I like Mystery

The one thing that draws me to CSI is the air of mystery around it before we find out who killed the vic (Victim). I mean they take you inside the mind of the murderer and how he used this instead of that and why and how the smallest mistake got them caught. I love it!

Speaking of mystery, Discovery IDX is definitely something you want to watch. From finding missing persons to solving murders to having an exclusive of how criminals almost got away with murder the channel is just out of this world fascinating!

#11- I hate tomato sauce

In fancy man language tomato sauce is Ketchup ama there is a difference? Some people I know call it tomato juice. Same difference. It’s red, it’s liquid, it’s viscous ( I hope this means like thick and can’t easily flow. I was dumb at science) and it’s from a tomato or many tomatoes. If I had my way, I’d call it Liquified Tomato.

#12- I’m a phone addict

I’m in love with this guy and I’ve lost him a couple of times, I even sold him once but somehow he keeps coming back to me in different forms, shapes and sizes. He’s got me hooked! It’s crazy!

I have lost close to 5 phones and I think I have used every brand of phone except the Iphone and HTC brands. I’m coming for you!

#13- I once eloped!

At the peak of my adolescence, hope I spelt it right, I ran away from home and since I didn’t have any cash  on me, I sold my phone at Githurai for 400 bob, got on a matatu and went to my grandmother’s place for a week.

I left a note and I didn’t want to go back home because I felt misunderstood and all but looking back now, I entirely blame it all on the hormones. #HormonalTeens

I had to sleep on my grams couch for a week! Isn’t as fancy as it sounds if it sounds fancy at all!

#14- I’m REALLY scared of heights

I’m really freaked out by heights. Simple as that! Weirdly, I want to sky dive one day and probably make it a hobby!

#15- I like travelling

This one is kind of tricky. I have places I want to visit and people I want to see but then my bank account really won’t let me and neither will my parents. Apparently, I just can’t put everything on hold and ask for thousands of shillings to travel the continent. I still don’t get why. #AfricanTourGoals

Something weird about this goal is that the farthest place I have been to is 30 minutes away from Tanzania and that was because my grandfather lived in some place we would wake up and see the Kilimanjaro.

#16- My favorite color is purple

I don’t know why but I like me some purple!

#17- My lucky number is 22

Why? Well, because I was born in the fourth month on the twenty second day.

My favorite cousin who shares my name was also born on the twenty second day of the seventh month.

So, 22 is an Ess number.

#18- I blush alot

I hate this about myself but I’m like #QueenBlush! Like you can tell me I have spinach in my teeth and I will blush- well not really but you get the idea yeah? 

I once had a crush on a boy, let’s call him E and he spoke to me one day and I blushed so hard I turned red! I swear, it actually happened and I’m not making it up.

So believe it.

#19- I’m a romantic by heart

I am one of the few people in my stupid generation that believes in the old fashion kind of love: picnics , flowers, serenades, little notes , chocolates maybe you could even throw in a teddy bear or four?

These days the most romantic thing this idiets we like will do is… I have no idea! Oh, wait, buy you fries at Kach Fries na MilkShake ya 120 hapo nje or if they go all out, buy you 2 guaranas and smokie hapo nje. #TrueStory!

#20- I hate hair

I find hair tiresome and I miss the good old days when all I had to do was take my hair to the Kinyozi for just 100 bob. The only reason I grow my hair is because my mom really likes it and my hair is her #hairgoals and I wouldn’t want to be the trimmer of anyone’s goals. Ha- see what I did there? Trimmer of goals?

#21- I’m probably going to remember more facts after I’m done

The thing with me is- Well I don’t exactly know what the thing with me is, I actually just thought that would be a great start!

Anyway, I’m probably going to remember much more after I’m done. Right now I have to rack my brain but I swear kidogo after pressing that publish button, the flood gates of my facts will open!

I should do a sequel! I will do a sequel!

#22- I have suffered from Inferiority Complex

Once, a long time ago, I suffered from inferiority complex. The meaning is in the name, it’s a kind of thing where you walk around with the notion that everything is better, prettier, more talented, smarter than you. You undermine yourself and hate your whole being.

It took a while to get out of that hole but I’m glad because it taught me first hand the importance of #lovingyourself.

#23- I’m overly emotional

What this means is that I can be an emotional wreck. I hate having my feelings hurt or getting dissapointed. Sometimes I go a little extreme with what I’m feeling and I make very bad decsions and I just have this big regrets when my mind is not as clouded.

While other people live the moment, I prefer to feel it.

#Feelthemoment.

When you feel it, then it gets easier to live it.

Make sense?

#24- I like lipstick

Anytime I have to walk around with no lipstick on, I almost feel naked. It’s a little addiction of mine.

I have full African lips and I like to pamper them.

#25- I started blogging at 17

I’m not even sure but yeah, probably.

#26-I’m a change freak

I do not like things remaining the same. I like change because I have this thing where I easily get bored of things and I just want to change them. I also have a little OCD in me.

I believe I have changed my blogger name a hundred times and they tried telling me not to but all I could think of was, they need to change their minds.

#27- I have mild social anxiety

I’m only beginning to learn how to relate to people and not be so distant from them. I used to dread events and gatherings where people were involved so much so to calm myself down, I would picture the end where everyone just walks away.

My heart always beats a little faster when I’m at places like town and there is such a huge crowd of people. In my head I see everyone of them as a threat and I always try and find the route or side of the road with the least number of people.

I often buy myself half a red velvet cake to calm my nerves and l pretend everyone is as sweet as what I’m eating.

#JunkFreak!

I can’t believe I am done!! It’s finally over and I can sleep now or maybe like 5 hours from now because most nights i suffer from Insomnia which leads to my karaoke late nights, dance offs, movie time, snack time, mosquito kill and count time and stalker time! 


Dear Future Heartbreak

0

Hi, 

I wonder what you’re doing right about now. Are you somewhere thinking about us and our perfect meeting that will be topped with our perfect smiles as our hearts synchronize into one ? 

Or maybe you are with her on what seems to be the perfect date. Maybe you are holding her hand and thinking that it’s for forever. 

Or maybe you are out with the boys, having a beer or two and talking about Sarah from last night. Maybe the boys will say that she is a fine one and you will agree. Or maybe an image of me will flash in your mind and you will smile and not think about Sarah. 

I have a feeling that you will be my greatest love yet. Not because I will have butterflies in my stomach each time I see you or because you will make my face burn with each look or because each time a pop up will appear, I will pray it’s you. 

I have a feeling you will be my greatest love yet because each time you’ll gently place your lips on mine, the heat you emute will make my heart warm and my knees a little weaker. I have a feeling you will be my greatest love yet because my heart will break each time I will have to endure not seeing anything but sparks of joy in your eyes. I have a feeling you will be my greatest love yet because I know you will complete me and break me at the same time. You will be my life’s greatest irony. 

I have a feeling that you will be my greatest love yet because you will be the fire to my gasoline.

Or maybe you are alone in your room trying to figure what kind of a girl I am? I’m quite simple though I have learnt that society has a way of complicating our souls. 

Or maybe you have seen me already and visualized our whole time together. From the moment we meet to the moment you leave me in tears and a burning heart.

Or maybe you have seen me already and visualized our whole time together only this time, It’s me leaving the knives in your heart and walking away match in hand. 

Whatever you are doing, I pray that when we have that enchanting first meet and that painful last kiss you will be gentle with my heart because I have a feeling, this one will drive us both to the edge. 

Bye.