Introverts always tend to thrive in environments where they are alone, you know without the noise of the world. I feel like we say this all the time but nobody ever listens to us. Anyway, I have replayed Boyfriend and not the Justin Beiber version, the Big Time Rush version about 300 million times and it sparked a little memory. Here is the story of a boy I like to call, My Almost Boyfriend.
Our love story begins like all others, we met on the internet and no, it was not on Tinder or some other weird dating site, it was actually on Instagram. Well I mean I met him on Instagram and for weeks I stalked him and did not like any of his pictures coz you know I was playing a little hard to get. Anyway, he was the complete definition of my tall, dark and handsome which means that he had a nice face, a nice set of teeth and he was generally amazing to look at.
I swear to God do you ever have one of those daygarsms? Like you rode that day so hard and it just got you there, right in the spot you wanted to be at the exact time you wanted to be there and you didn’t have to fake the excitement of the day coz you really were excited about the journey there? I could use a better comparison but my playlist is currently on Wild Horses and I can’t help but think of jockeys. The people who ride are jockeys yeah? Ha-ha.
Anyway, the moral of the previous paragraph is that he liked my pictures. We call that insta-rape in stupid people who can’t stay of the internet language. And when I say he liked my pictures, I mean he freakin liked all my photos. Have you ever been so excited that you plan a met, a proposal, a wedding and three babies? And in a span of like 3 minutes? Before I could even get over how cute Sam, Chris and Ronny (Yes, I have no desire whatsoever to mother girls) he sealed our fate by hitting that follow button. I wanted to go to Mars and say hey to the Queen alien, congratulate her on her 400 new purple babies and then take a little trip around the rings in some planet whose name I can’t remember. I was having one of those: And in that moment Jane new that Raphael was the love of her life moments from Jane the Virgin which I have conveniently not watched, I just heard that line one time. Did I use conveniently right in that sentence?
Anyway, we spent the next few weeks exchanging those likes and from the way he liked my pictures, I could tell that he knew I knew he knew that we both knew we knew there was something there. Something magical, his like loves even appeared different. The heart would beat a little then give me one of those hey baby winks- you feel? Then one day I was busy minding my business not being where his geo tag had said he was 30 minutes back when he somehow saw me not conveniently sitting directly opposite where he was with his friends. I call it fate- my best friend calls it stalking but I mean, what does she know right? It’s fate. It is.
So, he walked up to me after a few minutes of me not praying to something that he would and sparked a conversation. We talked about how much I was not looking at his face and picturing him running around with baby Sam who was our first born and wasn’t it just perfect? It was, wasn’t it? I mean you can also see how beautiful of a couple we are right? Him, me, us, together, forever in our little house in the suburbs with our little cats and our little court coz my dad would insist on teaching the boys basketball and our little pool because Chris would be a sucker for the water and Ronny would just be my little perfect boy who likes cooking with mommy. So perfect right?
Well, wrong. As luck would have it, his girlfriend, that appeared in almost all his photos was a boy.
I’ve never really been able to get over him majorly because you know, none of this actually ever happened but you know I actually did stalk my way into several lives so… It’s pretty close.