BLUE UNIFORM.

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I am a lazy person naturally a fact I am not fascinated to say but we all have our faults don’t we? As if to make sure my life would remain in it’s lazy state, first day of university barely 5 minutes after walking into Masinde Muliro’s Hall One hostels I met a lazier human that turned out to be my roomate. My roomate makes me feel like I am such a hardworker. Anyway when we thankfully finally moved out of the school hostels and all the demoms that place held, we found this very pretty bed sitter. After settling in our days mostly went like this: Classes, house, bed, laptop, sleep. On a scale of 1-10 our social life would score a 2 just because we know alot of people or rather a lot of people know us. We are not friends,we just know each other in some odd way.

Due to this default in our rather ‘perfect’ personalities we tend to eat out a few times or alot of times because no one is really in the ‘cooking mood’. I have personally never been a big fan of the blue uniform. For as long as I can remember rather than feel safe, I freak out each time I see them. I suspect I was a criminal in my previous life and it didn’t end too well for me. My first encounter with the men in the ‘Utumishi kwa wote’ uniforms was less than exciting at the moment. It became exciting later on.

Like I said earlier, I am a lazy human being and as you can quite imagine I don’t like to run, walk and even think sometimes but ironically I have been called an overthinker by myself. Anyway, this one time we were walking home at around 10pm from some food joint very happy that we were now full when suddenly Nelly shouted, ‘Essy cops.’ You know when people say, ‘It all happened so fast, I don’t even know how to explain it?’ Well never before in my life have I ran as fast as I did that day. By the time I was catching my breath, I didn’t have my shoes on and I couldn’t see where I had left my roomate. I could have won a gold medal if I was in the olympics and set a record. That is how fast I was that night.

The next time I met up with the boys in blue, I couldn’t run. I wanted to but my roomate wouldn’t let me. She studies criminology so she is practically like them. They asked us a bunch of questions most of which were indirectly aimed at asking for a little bribe to let us keep walking in a nation that was given freedom a little over 50 years ago. I remember one of them asking ‘Kama wasichana ni veteran’. I probably will never know what that means. After a few attempts to ask for ‘Kitu ya kununua chai’ they somehow let us go after saying, ‘Wasichana ni warembo nafuata kununulia soda.’ By the time we got home I was still shaking. I must have been a really bad criminal in my previous life.

I haven’t had another encounter since and I honestly do not want to. I have been called by a couple of friends to bail them out and I have seen a couple more being thrown in the ‘Mariamu’ and I know if a day ever comes when there is a possibility of me getting in the ‘Mariamu’, I’m not going in without a run.That last part might be a lie but I promise to try.

Dear Future Employer,
I read an article that now you stalk people on social media and use their tweets, blogs and instagram memes and captions against them. So, when I say I am lazy you shouldn’t use it as a basis to deny me a job. I should actually be getting a promotion because it depicts honesty. Anyway we’ll talk about it in like 3,4 years. Thanks for reading my blog by the way. Please share.

Essy 💜

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